BRENT says:
sadddd
meg says:
why?
BRENT says:
i didnt get what i wanted
meg says:
oops
meg says:
what did you wnt?
BRENT says:
a girl
meg says:
who?
meg says:
not still amelia?
BRENT says:
yah but atleast now i know
meg says:
yeh you know now|!!
meg says:
gosh darn brent
BRENT says:
it just doesnt make sense to me
BRENT says:
perhaps
meg says:
you have way more better things to think about then her
BRENT says:
im just a little confused
BRENT says:
yah, but shes still in there
meg says:
what ar eyou confused about?
BRENT says:
i dont know what it is.
meg says:
girls are dumb
meg says:
i am a girl
meg says:
i know
BRENT says:
that she loves me so much she doesnt want to date me? i feel thats a cop out
meg says:
she just doesn't knwo what she wants most liekly
meg says:
yeh sounds like it
BRENT says:
but now I don't think i can be around her anymore
BRENT says:
so i lose good company too
meg says:
you can find betetr company
BRENT says:
i don't really understand what i do wrong
meg says:
nothing
BRENT says:
you know? all i get from people is how im a great person, blah blah, but i end up with nothing out of it
BRENT says:
im really kind of second guessing how i am living my life
meg says:
well find someone who appreciates that
meg says:
and you need more time to figure yoruself out anuyway
BRENT says:
alot of people do, it just doesnt pan out i guess?
BRENT says:
im already pretty figured out. i know what i want i just cant have it
BRENT says:
but like i said, maybe im just backwards
BRENT says:
i go after the wrong people, but its like thats i know how to do
meg says:
i don't belioeve you
meg says:
you are not all figured out
meg says:
there is no way
meg says:
you were in a heartbreaking 6 year relationshi[p. trust me...this si just the beginning
BRENT says:
believe me. i know myself pretty well, and im really not good at being single. i need to make someone special smile
meg says:
.....
BRENT says:
everyone around me has that special someone. maybe im just a little jealous
meg says:
I DON'T!!!
meg says:
don't be jelous of me
BRENT says:
someone to watch a movie with, make dinner, laugh, share a cigarette
BRENT says:
im not
meg says:
do that with friends
meg says:
expcept don't share a cig
meg says:
nasty
BRENT says:
but i guess that im not really into that as much
meg says:
haha
BRENT says:
because friends are just friends, and im really at a state of my life right now where i need more than that
BRENT says:
i need close bonds, with people who arent going to run out
BRENT says:
which is hard to come by
meg says:
well i am sure if you are POSITIVE.......then there are plenty of girls who would date you
BRENT says:
I am postive as much as i can be, but my faith is lingering
BRENT says:
i have a big heart, i give it out there too much. i have to stop that
meg says:
find a girl who will work for your heart
BRENT says:
yah, but i have no idea where to start. amelia was special to me, and i know its the same way back, but she expects me not to develop feelings? its just sort of harsh
BRENT says:
and, i know thats exactly what i should stay away from, but my heart just speaks differently
BRENT says:
and sort of runs me a bit more than my logic at times
meg says:
she probably likes just being close without having feelings...and i know that is not fair to you...i have felt that way about guys before and it just doesn't work
BRENT says:
but i laid it out there last night, i got the run around, so atleast now i know, and i can begin the process of moving forward
BRENT says:
yah i know it doesnt work
BRENT says:
and i said to her that id probably have to distance myself from her if thats the case
meg says:
yes!! move forward!
BRENT says:
and she got angry at that like i was a bad friend
BRENT says:
its just so fucking backwards.. who is making up these rules
meg says:
no
meg says:
she has no right to get angrymeg says:
that is not fair
meg says:
it can't be one way or the other
meg says:
she will need to acceot this
BRENT says:
yah its not. its like she wants the closeness without my being able to have feelings for her. its backwards
BRENT says:
its like she gets to have her cake and eat it too
BRENT says:
and i get squat
BRENT says:
so im going to have a little self respect and get out
BRENT says:
its just sort of a shame
meg says:
brent...unless you know how to be on your own...it is not knowing yourself
meg says:
to be your own person
meg says:
to know yourself well
meg says:
to stand on your own
BRENT says:
yah...i just work better in pairs
BRENT says:
im a giving person. i feel I have too much to share to just waste it on myself
meg says:
yeh....but you gotta be strong on your own
meg says:
youy will be able to give a lot more in the long run that way
BRENT says:
i dont really have too much in my life as it is...so its nice to have someone thats yours
BRENT says:
yah...which is why last night i decided it was the end of old brent
BRENT says:
and i really hope it doesnt change me too much
BRENT says:
or i remember the person who was able to make a girl really happy once
BRENT says:
im just a little worried i will lose myself, or what makes me a great dude in this whole process
meg says:
you will become a stronger greater brent
BRENT says:
i understand that everyone is different...i guess im just programmed a bit differently
meg says:
you are amazing now...think how much more you can be by being independent
BRENT says:
what do I have to gain from that though?
BRENT says:
i really dont see how being single will make me any happier
BRENT says:
its not like iam career or money oriented
meg says:
it will allow you to grow
meg says:
i mean. find someone when it comes
BRENT says:
i have lots of friends? im fairly happy with who i am
BRENT says:
yah, i cant force it
BRENT says:
you are right
meg says:
the best comes when you arne't looking
BRENT says:
i know that. I just hate hugging a pillow at nights
meg says:
me tooo
meg says:
but on the bright side.....you get a whole bed to yourself
meg says:
sleep right in the middle!!!
BRENT says:
yah..but im pretty little, so i always end up on the side
meg says:
hehe
meg says:
did you hang out with sheena?
BRENT says:
we never ended up getting together, but I was just thinking about calling her. I will do that tomorrow
meg says:
nice
BRENT says:
and shelby. maybe one of them will grab my heart
meg says:
yeh
meg says:
maybe!
BRENT says:
cant rush it
meg says:
nope
meg says:
it will coem when it comes
meg says:
you are lucky to have 2 girls who want your little bum!
BRENT says:
yah, you are right. I just cant stand the idea of not having someone
meg says:
and i bet there are mroe you don't know about yet
meg says:
you will be with someone soon
meg says:
cherish this time....
meg says:
and when the right person comes, it will be great
BRENT says:
yah. you're right. I guess my ol' self esteem sort of took a beating when bar and i broke up
BRENT says:
because i dont know what happened?
BRENT says:
i sometimes think i was inadequate
BRENT says:
? i know thats probably not true
meg says:
no
meg says:
it was probably a mix of a bunch of things
BRENT says:
but when someone else i likes sort of turns me down too, i start thinking to myself? maybe im just not attractive anymore
meg says:
drugs probably being a big one
BRENT says:
yah, that was one of them
meg says:
it changes people
meg says:
you are very attractive!!!
BRENT says:
i hope i just didnt get luck you know
BRENT says:
thanks megan
meg says:
and you have a lovely personality!
meg says:
don't even sweat that
BRENT says:
i know i should bring that on more, its just after so many years with bar, i could care less how others saw me because all i wanted was her
meg says:
you are fun and funny and silly and charming and smart and talented....what more could a girl want?
meg says:
i am glad you and i are good buddies! that's for sure!
meg says:
be confident though
BRENT says:
EXACTLY!
BRENT says:
I feel confident. but i guess when i get alone, i start double guessing myself
meg says:
yehyhe
meg says:
just stop being sop har don yourself
BRENT says:
and having no conversation to fll the space, i think too much
meg says:
there are many people are not as lucky as you
BRENT says:
thanks megan. you're great you know
meg says:
thanks
meg says:
and no prob
BRENT says:
you are really helping me through this
BRENT says:
meg says:
i hope so!!
meg says:
i am supposed tooooo!
BRENT says:
certainly. ill get my turn again soon
BRENT says:
its just hard adjusting from "best relationship in ottawa" to no-one
meg says:
hahaha. i hope not with me
meg says:
2 heart breaks really takes its toll on me
BRENT says:
yah, im sure
BRENT says:
you only have one heart too!
meg says:
i am more on guard now...which is too bad
meg says:
don't be like that
BRENT says:
yah...see I dont want to end up like that either.
meg says:
you won't
meg says:
trust me
meg says:
i get feelings
BRENT says:
you're the best
Megan is one of the best people I have ever met.
I helped her years ago with her bad breakup, not ever expecting anything out of it. And who just decides to show up in my time of need.
Karma does exist.
Thanks megan
BRENTSWEETBLOG
Monday, January 22, 2007 at 8:24 p.m.
� BRENT BRENT BRENT 2005