So Mr. Fred Monster has arrived.
So Mr. Brown Chair has arrived. I now have somewhere for guests to sit.
"Hey take a seat on the only chair in the room, if you wish"
My sister was telling me how many places this chair has been.
Seattle
New Hampshire
Vermont
New York
Ottawa
and i think I am forgetting one!
BROWN CHAIRS 4 LIFE
It is now sitting happily in the corner of my room, being passed down 3 generations.
Sis came over tonight and we watched the new season of Rome.
This show is amazing.
It's amazing what HBO can do with their huge budgets (I am talking 1 million/show)
Some guy came to the house tonight who works for upfront magazine?? to interview us about the house, and what goes on here. I of course didn't feel right participating, only being here 2 weeks, but it really made me happy to call this place home.
We live as a collective here. Sharing our possessions as well as ourselves. Each morning I look forward to the breakfast conversations, the toothpaste sharing, and the overall warmth of the house. Be it sitting in the common room in the evening enjoy a movie and sharing cigarettes, or the monthly house shows and the people you meet. The house doubles in size often, with the addition of significant others (minus myself of course, but I am trying!) and I really couldn't ask for a better place to reside coming out of the situation I did.
I was co-cohabitating with my best friend and lover; really putting all my eggs in one basket, so to speak. It secluded me from a lot, including closeness to others but I was willing to forgo anything to be with her. It obviously didn't pan out like I had hoped, but I was forced to look upwards and onwards, and to press on. I have seen too much in my life, and felt too many things to let this destroy me. It almost did, but I somehow think this house, and the people that live here are one of the main reasons why I have been able to go on.
This all may seem a bit contrived. To label a house as such a positive, affluent force in my life.
But it is true.
I feel similar for Amelia. I rarely speak on such terms to her because it becomes somewhat confusing and muddled, but I really was fucked for a while there. Friends I had hoped to be there weren't and others I had no idea cared, were. It was really a testament to anything can happen. I am not sure where I fit into her life, but I do know that she helped reestablish my spirit, or my brent sweetness. It was like being lost in the woods and having someone say:
"brent, I'll help you out of this"
I feel barbara abandoned me in these woods. Almost like she knew how to get out, and just left me for dead.
It still hurts, and I am unable to look at her anymore. What happened to us? What did I do wrong? Please just tell me. Why did you leave me alone for 6 days, knowing how close I was to something terrible.
I woke up one morning with "I NEVER WANT TO WAKE UP" written on my arm, and that moment will stay with me forever. It was the turning point, where I decided that no one was going to do this for me, and I had to seek help if I was going to get any.
Good karma x1000 to Amelia. I firmly believe that you get back what you give.
Or atleast you won't get hit by a car.
I am not really certain why I have decided to type what seems like a book this evening. Perhaps it was seeing my barren apartment, and all the old memories that came along with it. Or the inability to gaze at the girl who i had slept beside for years and years. But I did find it therapeutic.
Now the question lies...do I watch a comedy to cheer, or a tear jerker to cry.
ILL FLIP A COIN!
GNIGHT WORLD
BRENTSWEETBLOG
Monday, January 15, 2007 at 11:13 p.m.
� BRENT BRENT BRENT 2005