SO what can i say about xmas?? maybe that it was the worst one I've had since that xmas my sister got sick when I was 8. It was super depressing and I am glad its all over.
I did manage to actually see my sister this year, and we celebrated it a couple of days early. Xmas isn't xmas without her, so the date doesn't really matter.
So that left a lonely Brent for a couple of days. I did manage to get into some havoc on xmas eve with boy Jorge. It was an all nighter, with attic climbs, excessive alcohol, poker, napping at 8pm, and finally watching Jorge stumble around naked at 6am with a girl yelling at him! That beats family shit any day.
Xmas was spent in bed basically. I skipped the family dinner, because to be honest at this time in my life i need to be around people who care, and my family blows, so fuck em (not mom and sis :)
My present: my parents paid of my visa bill. I guess its pretty good, but sort fleeting. VISA GOT MY PRESENT THIS YEAR.
So here I am today, boxing day, hiding indoors because crowds drive me crazy. I mean do you really need that much stress to save 50 bucks on some tv that will probably be on sale all week. NO THANKS
I hope I end up seeing someone tonight. I hate staying in alone and sleeping on the couch in my own apartment. The yellow one has uncomfortable cushions, and I slide off the leather couch...so I rarely sleep well at all.
Actually, I didn't sleep last night either...so here comes another 36 hour day. The only positive thing is the silliness that ensues with lack of sleep. YIPPEE!
Tomorrow I gotta go buy paint for my bedroom. I really need to pick a colour...this is going to take me all day.
Oh and in memory of James Brown I've been pumpin' his tunes all morning. That man was a genius.
ENJOY!
BRENTSWEETBLOG
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 at 1:04 p.m.
Weekend Update (Not SNL)
Wednesday, December 20, 2006 at 10:25 p.m.
uggggggggggggggg
alright, so things in my life right now seem as confusing as ever, and it feels like im drivin on a sheet of ice slipping all over the road.
- Ive been sleeping on my couch, or random couches for the past 2 months
- I dont think ive gotten a good nights sleep in the past 2 months
- I lack modivation to go get what i want in life currently, while i still reside at my current apartment
- I havent been eating well, or relaxed in months.
- My dad is still super fucked up and still the biggest abusive asshole ive ever met(god, today showed me that more than ever)
- My mom is still really sick with ms
- Both my grandparents who also raised me are now very sick
- Im still super shy, and it doesnt help that i havent been used to being by myself in 6 years.
- Because im shy, i have a hard time finding people to talk to
- My girlfriend treats me no better than a stranger and like she didnt just go out with me for 6 years
- She wont let me tell her how i feel because i guess it makes her feel guilty..but isnt guilt on her end, not mine...so it doesnt make sense.
- I had to drop out of school for lack of focus, and im only getting back, already losing a year due to illness, or curcumstances out of my control
- I am now the sole provider of a shared kitten, who someone doesnt seem to care about anymore...(ahem, kind of like me :(
I seriously really really hope, moving out will allow me to relax, and move on with what i need. Constant reminders dont allow me to move on, or get out of ruts and im not the type of person to lie to myself
After that is all said, im still really worried that something will blow up, and ill never get back on my feet. I hope to read this entry later on, and be able to say to myself BRENT YOU DID IT. It is one of my modivation for keeping a record of all this shit...so, heres to hoping.
What a sad sack i am :(
- Ive been sleeping on my couch, or random couches for the past 2 months
- I dont think ive gotten a good nights sleep in the past 2 months
- I lack modivation to go get what i want in life currently, while i still reside at my current apartment
- I havent been eating well, or relaxed in months.
- My dad is still super fucked up and still the biggest abusive asshole ive ever met(god, today showed me that more than ever)
- My mom is still really sick with ms
- Both my grandparents who also raised me are now very sick
- Im still super shy, and it doesnt help that i havent been used to being by myself in 6 years.
- Because im shy, i have a hard time finding people to talk to
- My girlfriend treats me no better than a stranger and like she didnt just go out with me for 6 years
- She wont let me tell her how i feel because i guess it makes her feel guilty..but isnt guilt on her end, not mine...so it doesnt make sense.
- I had to drop out of school for lack of focus, and im only getting back, already losing a year due to illness, or curcumstances out of my control
- I am now the sole provider of a shared kitten, who someone doesnt seem to care about anymore...(ahem, kind of like me :(
I seriously really really hope, moving out will allow me to relax, and move on with what i need. Constant reminders dont allow me to move on, or get out of ruts and im not the type of person to lie to myself
After that is all said, im still really worried that something will blow up, and ill never get back on my feet. I hope to read this entry later on, and be able to say to myself BRENT YOU DID IT. It is one of my modivation for keeping a record of all this shit...so, heres to hoping.
What a sad sack i am :(
Monday, December 04, 2006 at 9:26 p.m.
new
A lot of major changes have happened in my life as of late, so I thought this was a good at time as ever to actually start doing the things I promise myself id do, including keeping a personal account of all the things i do in life.
I do write in a livejournal, and have for several years, but most of the time I feel my life is a little too serious for all the lighthearties (??) that are on my friends list. I end up just posting jokes, and funny videos from youtube, and thats not really something you want to keep with you for the rest of your life.
So, this one will be a little more therapeutic I imagine, and I am excited to see if it actually has any sort of positive effect on my overall ways.
Is it bad luck to cross both fingers or just one?
I do write in a livejournal, and have for several years, but most of the time I feel my life is a little too serious for all the lighthearties (??) that are on my friends list. I end up just posting jokes, and funny videos from youtube, and thats not really something you want to keep with you for the rest of your life.
So, this one will be a little more therapeutic I imagine, and I am excited to see if it actually has any sort of positive effect on my overall ways.
Is it bad luck to cross both fingers or just one?
� BRENT BRENT BRENT 2005